I chose this morning, as I face into the end of 2009, to sit down and do a full 5-card JenGie reading. The intention I set was...
WHAT INFORMATION CAN YOU GIVE ME WITH WHICH I CAN ENTER THE NEW YEAR?
House of Guides
~Caterpillar~
It's time to slow down and rest in preparation for the learning ahead.
House of Symbols
~Map~
Following a map takes you to destinations already discovered. it's time to put down the map and follow your intuition.
House of Order
~Nothingness~
Open Space is where new thoughts can find fertile ground to grow.
House of Light
~Iridescence~
Passion is flowing energy that can empower you. Let it play within you.
House of Doing
~Continually teetering between options only creates more confusion. Commit. Go all the way in or walk away.
WOW!
First of all, I'm excited about this reading because four of these cards have never been seen on this blog before!
Secondly... wow! The essence of this reading is absolutely profound for myself personally and with where JenGie, as a business, is also.
2009 was an incredibly difficult year for me personally. And, as a business, as JenGie experienced some huge shifts and openings, we also have experienced indecision and obstacles that feel like absolute brick walls. As Jen and I expand into our gifts, more gifts appear and we've recently talked about what in the world are we SUPPOSED to be doing???!
I feel scared about the very first card... prepare for more lessons??? Granted, I get that there are always lessons and I'm realizing that I have a story that my lessons are difficult and painful (dang! I thought I had released that!) so when I hear that I have more lessons coming my way, I'm thinking it's going to be another difficult year. However, I'm willing to have my experiences be easeful.
When I look back over this year, I see lesson upon lesson and huge growth. And I'm grateful for that. It was, though, the most difficult year in my life to date. I learned lessons in ways I would have never imagined for myself and I learned about myself things that I never believed were possible for me. But they are.
I feel excited to be facing into a new year that is reputed to be full of new beginnings. I feel excited that the second card, "Map," refers to exactly what I've been discussing with Jen these last couple weeks. I'm experiencing the sensation of standing in the middle of a vast space of nothingness (ironically - or not - that was the 3rd card) and feeling uncertain of where I'm supposed to go because I have no paths to follow, there are no directions and there is no one leading me to where I'm supposed to be.
My Guides and Teachers have instructed me that, from here on out, *I* am my own teacher. There is no one in this realm that has gone before me on the path that I'm about to take. There is no one in this realm who can teach me that which I need to know. I must do it on my own, create my own path and lead others to follow it. All at once, that information is both scary and liberating. All of my life, I have had someone/something to follow - whether it has been religion, parents or mentors, there has always been something outside of me to show me the path I was meant to follow. I understand now that I've come as far as any of them can guide me. From here, it is up to me to continue. It's up to me to rely on me and those who are working through me. I can trust myself and I can trust the Beings I work with to always keep me safe. I know that now, but I haven't always known that.
I've learned that my intuition is ALWAYS right. I've learned that when I'm questioning myself, I need to stop and listen to what my feelings are saying. They never lead me astray. What leads me astray is my head... the negotiation that generally looks like you're being silly, just listen to what I'm saying and look at what your eyes are seeing because THAT is what is real. Truthfully, though, my primary vision does not always see the truth and that was the most painful lesson this year.
So, when I feel confused and I shut down, it's important that I listen to that. It's telling me that something isn't right in the picture. Something is out of sync. Something is incongruent. And it is those incongruencies that have almost cost me my life in the recent past. I am no longer willing to put my aliveness at stake and negotiate myself out of what I'm intuitively feeling.
So I stand before this Open Space and wonder into what I want to create for the year to come. I feel excited that my Guides are going to lead through passion because that tells me the year ahead will be full of joy and love. I am grateful for the reminder to commit and go all the way in. That, for me, has been the scariest part in the past going all the way in. I had the misconception that not going all the way is safer, but have learned it is actually the most dangerous way to approach anything. Think about a bus ride. If you only got partially on the bus and left your leg or your head dangling out the door because you were uncertain if that was the correct bus, what would eventually happen, even if it was the right bus? You'd be amputated. Not so safe.
So, with that in mind, I commit to being fully in the bus, stepping full into this Open Space of Nothingness and committing to myself, the Universe, Sipheeron's Tribe and God that I am FULLY IN.
And, interestingly enough, as I write that commitment, the chorus of the song Let it Rock came on...
Because when I arrive
I, I bring the fire
Make you come alive
I can take you higher
What this is, forgot?
I must now remind you
Let It Rock
Let It Rock
Let It Rock ...
I won't live a lie
No not this time
BRING IT ON!!!
With love,
Angie
