At the Close of the Year

As I wrote in my personal facebook status this morning: December thirty-first, two-thousand, nine. Wow. With gratitude I bid you adieu and with open arms I welcome 2010. I'm ready for new beginnings and I make a universal request that the changes and growth this coming year be EASEFUL PLEASE. Thank you.

I chose this morning, as I face into the end of 2009, to sit down and do a full 5-card JenGie reading. The intention I set was...

WHAT INFORMATION CAN YOU GIVE ME WITH WHICH I CAN ENTER THE NEW YEAR?

House of Guides
~Caterpillar~
It's time to slow down and rest in preparation for the learning ahead.

House of Symbols
~Map~
Following a map takes you to destinations already discovered. it's time to put down the map and follow your intuition.

House of Order
~Nothingness~
Open Space is where new thoughts can find fertile ground to grow.

House of Light
~Iridescence~
Passion is flowing energy that can empower you. Let it play within you.

House of Doing
~Continually teetering between options only creates more confusion. Commit. Go all the way in or walk away.

WOW!

First of all, I'm excited about this reading because four of these cards have never been seen on this blog before!

Secondly... wow! The essence of this reading is absolutely profound for myself personally and with where JenGie, as a business, is also.

2009 was an incredibly difficult year for me personally. And, as a business, as JenGie experienced some huge shifts and openings, we also have experienced indecision and obstacles that feel like absolute brick walls. As Jen and I expand into our gifts, more gifts appear and we've recently talked about what in the world are we SUPPOSED to be doing???!

I feel scared about the very first card... prepare for more lessons??? Granted, I get that there are always lessons and I'm realizing that I have a story that my lessons are difficult and painful (dang! I thought I had released that!) so when I hear that I have more lessons coming my way, I'm thinking it's going to be another difficult year. However, I'm willing to have my experiences be easeful.

When I look back over this year, I see lesson upon lesson and huge growth. And I'm grateful for that. It was, though, the most difficult year in my life to date. I learned lessons in ways I would have never imagined for myself and I learned about myself things that I never believed were possible for me. But they are.

I feel excited to be facing into a new year that is reputed to be full of new beginnings. I feel excited that the second card, "Map," refers to exactly what I've been discussing with Jen these last couple weeks. I'm experiencing the sensation of standing in the middle of a vast space of nothingness (ironically - or not - that was the 3rd card) and feeling uncertain of where I'm supposed to go because I have no paths to follow, there are no directions and there is no one leading me to where I'm supposed to be.

My Guides and Teachers have instructed me that, from here on out, *I* am my own teacher. There is no one in this realm that has gone before me on the path that I'm about to take. There is no one in this realm who can teach me that which I need to know. I must do it on my own, create my own path and lead others to follow it. All at once, that information is both scary and liberating. All of my life, I have had someone/something to follow - whether it has been religion, parents or mentors, there has always been something outside of me to show me the path I was meant to follow. I understand now that I've come as far as any of them can guide me. From here, it is up to me to continue. It's up to me to rely on me and those who are working through me. I can trust myself and I can trust the Beings I work with to always keep me safe. I know that now, but I haven't always known that.

I've learned that my intuition is ALWAYS right. I've learned that when I'm questioning myself, I need to stop and listen to what my feelings are saying. They never lead me astray. What leads me astray is my head... the negotiation that generally looks like you're being silly, just listen to what I'm saying and look at what your eyes are seeing because THAT is what is real. Truthfully, though, my primary vision does not always see the truth and that was the most painful lesson this year.

So, when I feel confused and I shut down, it's important that I listen to that. It's telling me that something isn't right in the picture. Something is out of sync. Something is incongruent. And it is those incongruencies that have almost cost me my life in the recent past. I am no longer willing to put my aliveness at stake and negotiate myself out of what I'm intuitively feeling.

So I stand before this Open Space and wonder into what I want to create for the year to come. I feel excited that my Guides are going to lead through passion because that tells me the year ahead will be full of joy and love. I am grateful for the reminder to commit and go all the way in. That, for me, has been the scariest part in the past going all the way in. I had the misconception that not going all the way is safer, but have learned it is actually the most dangerous way to approach anything. Think about a bus ride. If you only got partially on the bus and left your leg or your head dangling out the door because you were uncertain if that was the correct bus, what would eventually happen, even if it was the right bus? You'd be amputated. Not so safe.

So, with that in mind, I commit to being fully in the bus, stepping full into this Open Space of Nothingness and committing to myself, the Universe, Sipheeron's Tribe and God that I am FULLY IN.

And, interestingly enough, as I write that commitment, the chorus of the song Let it Rock came on...

Because when I arrive
I, I bring the fire
Make you come alive
I can take you higher
What this is, forgot?
I must now remind you
Let It Rock
Let It Rock
Let It Rock ...
I won't live a lie
No not this time

BRING IT ON!!!

With love,
Angie

Wow! Life has been moving fast and the changes that have taken place have happened at warp speed.

I am in the middle of big transitions in my life. Today I am making a physical move. I am changing the zip code in which I reside There are many aspects of this move that are complicated, scary and exciting. As I am preparing to shut my computer down for the move I chose to take time to do a JenGie Reading and ask... "What should I be paying attention to during this move that will help it be an easier transition?"

This is what I got...

House of Doing

Hiding

Wasted energy will keep you stuck where you are. Disclose your truth and move forward.

House of Guides

Bat

Begin to rely on your other senses so you are aware of elusive possibilities.

House of Light

White

Pay attention. There are subtleties that are only visible to those who are willing to truly see.

House of Order

Three

Gather support to create a strong foundation for your work.

House of Symbols

Clouds

Never give up. Keep moving forward. In the end you will discover you have what you want, even though it may look different than you imagined at the start.

I feel that this reading is right along with what has been happening and I feel happy to find reassurance that I can keep moving forward and revealing will free more energy. I have had some support and yet I have not allowed my larger group of friends to assist in the process, I wonder why I am so stubborn sometimes? I do have everything I need. I have discovered that by being open to life not looking the way I planned I have received amazing love and connection that feeds my aliveness and generates more love, what a wonderful surprise!

I feel inspired and have a renewed sense of purpose as I move forward and create a new life in a new location with a new love.

Life is ever changing and I am enjoying the ride.

Jen

Forward Through the Haze

Friday morning, I began to get the first stirrings of illness. It was interesting watching the symptoms creeping up on me. First one then the next one. I was speaking with Jen while they appeared and on the other end, between coughing spasms, she was trying to be supportive. I finished my project and went to bed. I spent the rest of the day and on until noon Saturday in bed drinking lots of Emergen-C and taking high dosages of Oscilloccinum. The symptoms have stayed in check.

This morning, I did a JenGie reading...

House of Light
~Yellow~
Each day is a fresh start. Use it wisely.

House of Order
~Five~
See your vision through completion. Visualize your creations as whole, complete and fabulous!

I smiled as I read that because it is SO applicable with where I am. I have chosen to do a revision of my website and get it on a free server so that I can get rid of the $50/month hosting fee. It is a HUGE process. What better time to do it than while I am sick???!

It's funny. When I'm sick, I stay in and be still, physically. But my brain goes wild and I will literally go mad if I don't create during the physical stillness. Today I am using my brain power to see this project completed and fabulous. I feel excited!!!

With love,
Angie

Illness, Heart Ache and New Possibilities

Today I am writing from my sick-bed. It's nearly been a week that I have been over whelmed with the H1N1 Virus. It has not been a fun ride, at all. I have been miserable and in a lot of pain through out it. In fact I ask that you forgive any mistakes you find in this post, I am not too worried about the perfection piece today, I am just happy to be up to posting at all.

Out side of my sick-bed I have a lot of things happening in my life. There are people in my life who are facing relationship changes, there are surgeries to recover from, exciting trips to take and adventures to go on, there is new love interests and exciting possibilities, there are legal and financial upheavals, a wide variety of changes and it is all happening at a very swift pace. As I consider my own situation I find that there is no accident that during this time I am layed up in bed. I have little or no voice at times and my tolerance for drama is at an all time low. I can't help but believe that the timing is perfect and of a grand design.

Today I requested information about what all these changes are meaning as I lay in bed healing my body...

Confuse

The House of Doing

What are you afraid to look at? Feel the fear and face it. You will understand the lesson soon.

Waterfall

The House of Symbols

Go through the noise to find the silence, to find the peace.

Horse

The House of Guides

Check your pace to absord the joy and beauty of your surroundings.

I feel that I have an opportunity to absorb all that is happening around me from a space of appreciation. I have felt fear about the changes in my life and in the lives of loved ones around me and I would not choose to make any other choices, based on what I know now. I have found a calm quiet place to absorb the beauty and joy that I am so blessed with. I appreciate all that I am witnessing and all that I am learning. I am cherishing the love that I feel for others as well as the love that I am receiving. I look forward to moving forward and creating a life that I am be excited about.

Re-Committing to My Aliveness,

Jen

What is Next?

As I look into my near future, I see a vast expanse of... nothingness. I feel disoriented by the seeming lack of direction and the seeming lack of any inkling whatsoever about what is supposed to happen next, what I am supposed to be doing next.

I have shifted so much this year and have continually stepped into the unknown. The result is, everything is now unknown. It is liberating AND frightening at the same time.

It's been awhile since I've played JenGie - or, rather, it's been awhile since I've played AND shared it with you here. I've been doing my own version of hiding. Today, however, I felt very drawn to play AND share it with you.

I asked... I'm feeling scared and as though I am standing in too much open space with no direction. What wants to happen next?


House of Symbols
~Prism~
The slightest shift in your position will effect the way the information is released and revealed.

House of Doing
~Realize~
Seeing your true potential will set you free.

House of Light
~White~
Pay attention. There are subtleties that are only visible to those who are willing to truly see.

Once again, JenGie has nailed it. I still am floored by the accuracy of this game and giggle whenever I discover I am surprised yet again.

From this reading, I understand there is an invitation on the table. I am being invited to continue to shift, tiny movements at a time, while seeking to see the smallest details that others may overlook. I realize I am standing in a space of becoming my fullest potential and I am on the precipice of my own life. All that is required of me is that I keep on going. Forward into the open space, without direction. Relying on trust and faith. I am working hand in hand with my higher power and I feel excited now.

With love,
Angie

Taking Chances

I am having a New Grand Experiment. I am facing into fear of the unknown. I am feeling the excitement of experiencing something totally new. I have no idea how this Experiment will turn out but I am willing to ride the wave of discovery. One thing I am appreciating is that because I have no frame of reference, I have no expectations. I am following my impulses and listening to my body for the yes’s and no’s to guide me through this journey.

Flow

House of Doing

Choose drama or flow, it is up to you.

Unknown

House of Symbols

You cannot know until you try. Take the chance.

Thank you JenGie for the reminder to stay in the flow of life and take my chances.

Jen

Not Settling

Realize

House of Doing

Seeing your true potential will set you free.

Gold

House of Light

Examine your belief in riches. Others are holding you where you believe you belong.

Spiral

House of Symbols

Familiar and uncomfortable situations are an opportunity to learn the lesson you missed the first time.

This past weekend was Graduation for a program I have been in called ALC (Accelerated Learning Community). The leaders of this group are Megan Sillito and Annabeth Christy. These ladies have taught me so much about learning to be accountable and in integrity, about consciousness and love. I have learned and stretched and loved every minute of my journey with them. They have taught me that even the painful or sad times of my life are wonderful gifts and opportunities to grow and learn and better myself.

When I sat to do my reading I asked what the new lessons that came this weekend could teach me as I move forward this week. The cards were right on and a wonderful reminder that I have and will continue to commit to myself not to hold myself back. I have come out of hiding and I am able to move forward as a strong woman who is creating a life she is proud of. I am able to share my lessons, my joys, my pains and my love with the intention that it can be a gift to others as well as to me.

I look forward to learning the lessons I may have missed in my past easefully by raising my own bar of possibility with joy. I commit to myself to never settle for anything less than everything and do it with ease and love.

Lovingly and with a Heart that is Wide Open,

Jen

Just Sayin'...

This JenGie game freaks even me out and I'm one of the creators!!! Holy crap!

The past 48 hours has been an exercise in REALLY getting to know myself. Granted, for a decade now I have been on a fully conscious path to knowing myself. However, I've recently uncovered a place that I thought I knew about myself but had never really explored its origins or the "why" of what is.

As I have processed this experience on my own and in sessions with Jen, I have uncovered a very beautiful, magical part of myself that I had once deemed as fundamentally flawed. Because I found the right question - rather than simply asking myself why over and over again - I opened up to answers that have delighted me. I have a profound and deepening appreciation and love for myself.

I love that my JenGie reading is a true reflection of where I am - even using some of the very words I have been saying the last couple days. I feel so blessed to be a part of creating this incredible game and I feel so appreciative of myself for continuing to seek answers to questions I thought I had already answered!!!



House of Order
~Infinity~
The cycle continues of Ebb and Flow where there is time to rest and time to work. Learn to cherish all times and their gifts will become clear.

House of Light
~Black~
There is more pain in the covering than there is in the revealing.

House of Guides
~Butterfly~
Moments pass so quickly. Open your eyes to the beauty in them.

With love,
Angie

Aligning with My Essence

This morning my heart is full of joy. I can feel myself releasing the pain and struggle I have been carrying for the past few weeks. I can feel my essence coming through and bubbling up like giggles of joy rising as waves of laughter through my body.

I chose to do a full 5 House JenGie Reading today with the intention, “What will further assist me in aligning with my essence.

The House of Doing

Celebrate

Honor someone or something publicly. All will benefit from the shared joy.

The House of Guides

Lion

Watchfully protect yourself and your pride.

The House of Light

Gold

Examine your belief in riches. Others are holding you where you believe you belong.

The House of Order

One

Get curious about your ideas. Let you imagination go wild!

The House of Symbols

Map

Following a map takes you to destinations already discovered. It’s time to put down the map and follow your intuition.

I sat in conscious breath and wondered about the message for each card, I allowed myself to feel the message as it matched my intention. This is the message as a whole as I feel it applies to my alignment with my essence, my spirit, my highest self. I have chosen to word the entire message as a whole as if it is being spoken to me:

Jen, celebrate publicly and share your joy. Love yourself and your children by protecting them from self doubt and criticism. Release your old beliefs about lack by honoring yourself and valuing your gifts and abilities. Allow your imagination to go wild and bring life to your ideas. Follow your impulses and trust your inner knowing to guide you.

Joyfully

Jen

Supporting Ease and Flow

I have been having a grand time learning about Beliefs. I have read many books, articles, studies and completed workshops around the subject. What I have learned is filling the corners of my mind and bringing excitement to my thoughts. As my mind processes this subject it seems to have taken on a new focus for everything I do, say, see, feel, think, hear or experience. I am questioning everything! I am making new choices based on every given moment and on what I want for my present and future. I am clearing on my past beliefs, especially those that I unconsciously picked up from others. I am having a great time!

Today my question was simple. I am cleaning and doing chores around my house today as I clear mentally around old beliefs about house work, what will support me as I do this today?

Brown

House of Light

Life is about flow. You can resist it or you can let it carry you with ease.

Three

House of Order

Gather support to create a strong foundation for your work.

I like the reminder to gather support and go with the flow.

I instantly saw the vision of a river that I have had many times. I often see myself gently going down stream and enjoying the scenery, but at times I realize I am holding on to the side shrubs in fear and I am in pain or that I have decided to strong arm my way back up stream to repeat an old pattern, because it is what I am familiar with. No matter where I find I am in the stream if I am not going with the flow in ease and joy I am usually engaged in drama of some kind. The other part is, I am not very good at asking for support or more importantly at supporting myself with what I am doing.

Today I have a new hypothesis for my cleaning;

How can I support myself by finding ease as I clean my house and clean my beliefs about house work and what it means to me?

Now where is my broom? Oh ya, where I parked it last... in the carport. LOL

Jen

Approaching Vision

As I get ready to set out on my day and this entire weekend sans computer connection, I feel surprisingly excited to be electronically disconnected from the world. I feel excited for the opportunity to be out in the world, watching talented Shakespearean players and spending time with my daughter and friends. I feel grateful that someone sponsored my daughter and I so that we are able to attend and I feel blessed.

This morning, when I sat down to do my JenGie reading, I pondered what message I would receive that could span the upcoming days. Especially since I am going a full range of experiences starting with taking my daughter to visit her daddy in jail to teaching all day long to spending four hours on a bus full of pre-teens and teenagers to spending 48 hours immersed in Shakespeare to another four-hour bus ride. What could JenGie possibly have to say that would support all that?


The House of Guides
~Snake~
Varying your approach path can change the reception you receive about a tender issue.

The House of Order
~Nine~
Stay true to your vision and, with every step you take, your truth will be reinforced.

What I appreciate about this reading is the "path" theme. I am very aware that I've been wondering about what step is next and what around the corner on my path. I've wondered what my role is in this world, what my purpose is and how I am meant to fulfill it.

I feel happy to be leading into this weekend with the wisdom of being true and flexible to accomplish what I'd like to accomplish.

With love,
Angie

Going Wild and Following My Intuition

Today I was wondering about what I have learned over the past few days. To me it has seemed that it is time for me to slow down and listen to my impulses and do what comes naturally. That has looked like relaxing and watching football on Sunday then working with a new client on Monday followed by discovering some new processes and meeting a few new people. I felt I was on the mend physically from my stiff neck and back and yet I was still being tender with myself. Over all I am feeling fairly content to sum it up.

One

The House of Order

Get curious about you ideas. Let you imagination go wild!

Map

The House of Symbols

Following a map takes you to a destination already discovered. It’s time to put down the map and follow your intuition.

Just now as I was typing in the definitions I had goose bumps run up and down my legs and arms. I had a feeling of joy and excitement fill my chest and I noticed my mouth was hanging open in a huge smile. Kind of goofy but I have a very young and excited feeling.

I look forward to Going Wild and Following My Intuition!

Jen

Gray Clouds...

It looks like this day is going to evolve into the sort of day that inspires me to cuddle up with a blanket, a good book and a cup of hot chocolate. However, things may not pan out as I hope because I am a guest in another person's home. For them, this specific weekend looks like landing in front of the television for two hours at a time to absorb words of wisdom from their church elders.

I feel grateful that I have a home to live in. A place that my daughter and I are comforted and safe from the ways of the world. A place where I can land, if only to sleep, and one place that I know I am loved by those who are here. I may not understand my father and his wife, but I know they love me and my daughter. I know that they care about my welfare and that they hope for the best for me.

This was what was on my mind when I did my JenGie reading this morning. As you can see, the card was VERY appropriate for my state of mind...

The House of Symbols
~Cocoon~
While presentation is important, it is not the wrapping paper that makes the gift.

The most delicious part about this is that is the very thing I want to do today - cocoon. I want to nestle in and veg. I'm curious about how the intuitive message will play out in my life today. I'm getting that the "wrapping paper" is all the external stuff in my life right now that I'm so worried about and focused on - job, bills, money, living arrangement. However, the true gift is what is inside all of that.... my LIFE.

I wonder how I can expand on my gift...

With love,
Angie

On This Day...

Sometimes when I sit down to do a JenGie reading, I have no clear, strong intention in mind. Instead, I sit down and simply feel curious about what JenGie will show me. I find this tactic fun because the readings are really spot-on for what is happening in my world in that moment.

Today was one of those days...


The House of Order
~Seven~
Take time to renew your strength as you move forward.

The House of Doing
~Dread~
Focusing on the negative works like a magnet, drawing to you the very thing that you are dreading.

*sigh*

Once again, I am astounded by the clarity and accuracy of this game. Specifically, at this time, as I'm wondering how I will create money, pay my bills and if I need to find a job - or if JenGie is gonna fly, I've been very focused on those worries. And all that it has gotten me is more to be worried about.

I recommit to caring for myself, renewing my strength and focusing on all that I do have, all that I am grateful for in my life.

With love,
Angie

Diversity of Emotions

The past week has been full of diversity. I celebrated my daughter’s 18^th birthday and had a health scare with my son. I have been riding the rollercoaster of emotions as I have celebrated and worried about the loved ones in my family. The celebrations were spectacular, everything from skydiving to fancy dinners with family. The times of worry have included tears and actions, propelled by fear.

Through out this week of pendulum swings I have come to appreciate that life does not come in just one flavor. There can be joy and pain all in one moment. I have come to open my eyes and look for the beauty and joy among the drama and pain. I have recommitted to my aliveness and my passions.

Today’s reading seems to match this diversity I have been experiencing.

The House of Doing

Dance

Celebrate all of life’s milestones.

The House of Guides

Fox

Is there a predator among your loved ones?

Just like in my life, the message is a mix of emotions and I feel curious about its meaning.

Breathing and Curious,

Jen

Live Like You Are Dying...

Last night at Life Skills, Jen taught a moving class about living life to the fullest. It felt very appropriate for where both she and I have been in our personal lives, as well as in JenGie. So much big stuff happening that, at times, I am wondering what on earth could POSSIBLY be next, this has GOT to be IT, doesn't it?!

She and I went to lunch yesterday. It had been almost a week since we had played together and, for us - for JenGie - that's like a few centuries of time. As each of our lives change radically with practically each passing moment, it is important that we are in contact frequently to stay in the forward motion of our project. It felt good to be together. It felt good to laugh and cry together. It felt good to touch base, update one another and FEEL together.

This morning, as I awoke to the sound of autumn rain bathing the earth in delightfully cold, pin-prickly drops, I felt curious about what the day would hold. Sitting here in a coffee shop, smelling the comforting scent of freshly-ground coffee beans and steamed milk, I have to smile. About a decade ago, I said I wanted to create a life that provided me the means to operate my business from a coffee shop. And... here I am!

I find such comfort in coffee shops, although I don't drink coffee anymore for health reasons. I still love the smell and I love the warmth and I love the memories that the aromatic sensory experience evokes for me.

And, in this space, I did a simple JenGie reading. And, again, I'm smiling....


The House of Guides
~Horse~
Check your pace to absorb the joy and beauty of your surroundings.

And, that I am. Today is a good day to begin living like I am dying - without the dying part, of course!

With love,
Angie

To Look

I have been stuck for the last few days. Everything has looked the same and I've had a hard time finding a different way to look at things, no matter how much I shifted.

There is so much happening in my life that I could have never imagined and stuff that I've had no previous experience with which to help me process what I'm experiencing. Some days, when I get into bed at night, I've heard myself thinking, "Wow! I went through THAT. I'm certain that I can do, pretty much, anything now." And then, the next day starts and with it comes all new things that leave me stunned.

When I sat down to do my reading this afternoon, I didn't have much of an intention set. I was just curious what JenGie would have to say...




The House of Symbols
~Prism~
The slightest shift in your position will effect the way the information is released and revealed.

What I get out of this is... eventually things do shift. Sometimes it takes longer.

With love,
Angie

Feeding My Aliveness

Yesterday I began reading a book called Book Yourself Solid by Michael Port. I really like this book and it's accompanying workbook that is free to down load once you have purchased the book. In my first sitting I read and completed the first section of the book. In this section the focus is on knowing what an Ideal Client looks like. As I sorted clients I related the concepts to other books I have read about how the people we associate with can have an impact on us, our life styles and our businesses.

I must have taken in a lot of information because I had a dream about categorizing the people in my life, in a similar way to how it was done in the book. There was a lot of new awareness that came from the dream and they were all about me and what I bring into my life to support or distract from my own goals, dreams and purpose. It brought me to a space of wonder about what I want to keep the same and what I want to change. And who I associate with and how I want to spend my time with others. This brings up fear for me as I think about changing how I play in certain relationships and social circles. The thing that I find most interesting is that some people that I associate with socially are people that I would like to also associate with professionally and vice versa. Sometimes I think I hold people in a category which limits the benefits of the relationship, something I am considering changing.

As I prepare for a JenGie reading today this is what is on my mind, How can I support my aliveness, specifically by who I interact with in my life?

The House of Doing

Confuse

What are you afraid to look at? Feel the fear and face it. You will understand the lesson soon.

Yes, I am afraid to look at the relationship with some people in my life. I may not like what I find.

Here I go, facing fear and recommitting to doing whatever it takes to increase my aliveness.

Jen

Taking JenGie Into The World

Today my intention was- How can I get JenGie more available to the world?

Falling

House of Doing

Continually teetering between options only creates more confusion. Commit. Go all the way in or walk away.

I like this because I have committed and have placed all my focus on JenGie, now it is time to go all the way in. Hmmm, for me that means do the publicity piece. Make the contacts needed in the Salt Lake area, the list goes on and on.

It is time

Jen

Strolling

This morning, I set out on my daily walk and discovered that what wanted to happen was a delicious, meandering stroll. I felt drawn to the field to the east of our neighborhood just as the sun was peeking over the crest of the mountains. The only clouds in the sky blanketed the summits and the brilliant light cast rays outward with God's Light and caused the clouds to glow with a glimmering gold lining.

I was moved by the beauty of the morning as I followed the almost non-existant dirt road through the weeds. Soon, I found that my "road" had been blocked by an orange new-construction fence. What to do? Do I turn back or do I forge forward?

I thought about it for a nanosecond before I decided to choose the path less followed. Or, rather, the direction that had no path. This resulted in me tromping in a high-stepping rhythm through waist-high weeds in a twisty-turning path around tumble weeds and stinging nettle. I soon was covered with sticks and weedy leaves and puffy, airy seed pods that looked a lot like dandelions. And, even better, I was grinning like a child.

Somewhere in the middle of me creating my own path while on an exploration of the fields, I became young and new. I felt in my body the experience of adventure and as though I was on a treasure hunt. I wanted to skip, although the wildly overgrown weeds prohibited it. So, instead, I danced gently as I wove through the fields and headed for the sidewalk at the edge of the wilderness in the distance. I giggled and realized that I had unwittingly created a beautiful adventure of discovery.

My reading this morning speaks to my exploratory experience and I am curious how it will play out in the rest of my day...

The House of Doing
~Play~
Release all judgments and create fun as a child does. Remember the ease of laughter that came with innocence.

The House of Symbols
~Rainbow~
Coming together to make something of beauty gives hope to many.

With love,
Angie

Money and Going Forward

I sit at the desk right now smirking at the computer screen because I am learning JenGie is ALWAYS ON! Even with me and Jen, the people that are bringing this amazing gift to the world, the messages are surprisingly "ON" and sometimes intensely aggravating. Today's reading for me was one of those readings ... intensely aggravating.

Being recently unemployed and facing the prospect of "what now" I feel a lot of fear, especially around money. I have yet been able to figure out how to believe that *I* am the source of my money. I understand that *I* am the source of my love, *I* am the source of my appreciation. I get that because those are non-physical items, feelings, that I can generate for myself, from within myself.

I cannot generate physical money. I don't spew coins or bills forth from my nose or mouth. And the actual creation of physical money is left up to the government. So, here I am, wondering how to embody the feeling that *I* am the source of my money. How do I do that? Money has always come to me. It has been placed in my hand. I've earned it - generally by working really hard. How do I now, being without a job, create money?

That was where I was when I sat down to do my reading just now. I set the intention for support as I go into the energy of JenGie Creations and asked for a message that would be soothing...

The House of Light

~Blue~

Get clear with yourself before you connect with others.

The House of Symbols

~Eye~

Open your eyes and see what is right in front of you.

I understand the JenGie message to mean that I am being asked to clear my own space and to LOOK at what I DO have. Okay... I'm looking.

I see an amazing business partnership. I see that I am blessed with the divine gift of being a messenger. I also see - or rather, I feel - certainly that JenGie IS taking off. I see and know that it will generate money. I know that *I* will generate money through JenGie. Hmmmm... I know that? Really?

COOL!

With love,

Angie

Community of Support

Today I am feeling a sense of hope and openness. I feel alert and rejuvenated as I think about spending the day in JenGie details. My intention for my reading today was, "How can I expandinto Open Space and more Openness to Receiving?"

The following is the message that came through...

Rabbit

House of Guides

Create a community that supports your needs.

Beginning

House of Order

Thought is the birth place of an idea. Give your thoughts time to be born.

As I think about this message I am beginning to understand most of it. I understand that my fear of being vulnerable (more information about that in the post titled "Wondering What Wants To Happen Next") has much to do with being a part of a community. When I am in a community I rarely request the support I am needing or wanting. I have a few close friends that I will share my needs with but the larger community is kept in the dark, so to speak. I love the thought of building a community to support others, what I am realizing is that I don't see myself in the community receiving support. Gulp. Currently I am part of a community and as I look back over the past months I see where I have been holding my requests for support close to my chest, filtering who I allow in to support me. I feel sad about this realization. I have all kinds of past experiences and stories that tell me "support is conditional and not gentle or loving".

This brings up another layer for me, trust or the lack of it. I don't trust that I will have support when I want or need it. Underneath that is the lack of trusting myself. I don't trust myself to know what to ask for when it comes to support. I don't trust that I can count on myself for the support I need from me. I simply don't trust.

Here I am wondering what steps I can take to trust myself so that I can begin to trust others, so that I can enter and even create a community where support is about flow and not about struggle. I wonder how this can be a gentle learning. I am feeling that this is where the Beginning card, about staying with my thoughts so that they can have time to be born, comes in.

I have been rushing though life in survival mode running over the new understandings that are trying to come forth to support me in my journey through life.

Today I commit to slowing down and supporting myself by trusting my impulses.

Going forth with Hope and Love

Jen

Wondering What Wants To Happen Next

This morning I am in a place of wonder. The following is a list of the things I have consciously wondered about since waking up at 5:30 this morning... money, sex, exercise, lunch, sales, teaching, JenGie and so on. The wondering has been very gentle and some things have only stayed in my mind for a breath before I let them go and moved on to the next thing my mind wanted to focus on. As I sat ready to set an intention for my JenGie reading I noticed couldn't land on one thing or one area. I decided to simple wonder "What wants to happen next?"

The reading was as follows...

Destroy

House of Doing

Tearing down and getting rid of what is not working will open up space for a new creation.

Tears

House of Symbols

Tears can be an expression of all emotions. Allow the flow.

My reaction was laughter. I have been in a space of releasing for a while now, but to be reminded that something need to be torn down is a big shift in perception for me. There are somethings I need to tear down and rebuild in their place, instead of moving or changing where my focus is.

As I think over the past few weeks and how often I have gotten the tears card I am reminded of how rarely I have cried, which is not like me. I realize this morning that I have been expressing a lot of my feelings but a real good sob has not fully come through. I have had a tear escape the corner of my eye when I am alone or in class I have had tears run down my cheeks but I have not allowed myself to really open up and let all the sound and feeling out. I realize that I have been constricting my FULL expression of my emotions. I have been holding back just out side of full vulnerability. Realizing this brings tears to my eyes and tightness to my throat. (Pausing to cry)

As I am now re-reading my reading with eyes clear and my body feeling more fluid I realize part of what was and still is wanting to be destroyed are my walls that I hide behind to keep me from being vulnerable. Just writing that I feel fear in my stomach and anger in my jaw. Whew. Vulnerability is a challenge for me and I am willing to play and wonder and source this issue.

Again I ask, what wants to happen next? My answer to myself is~ Let go of control and open up to receive support.

Feeling scared and willing,

Jen

Thinking Space

It is my daughter's 12th birthday and I feel immense gratitude and love for having been witness to her journey. As I think back over the 12 years, I am happy to see they are filled with many tender moments of connection. I feel excited about the way I'm parenting her and supporting her. It feels solid and strong. She has always been an inspiration, from the moment of conception. She was truly a miracle baby meant to be raised by me and I'm grateful she chose me for that job.

While I was in my gratitude and tenderness, I did a simple reading this morning...

The House of Order
~Beginning~
Thought is the birth place of an idea. Give your thoughts time to be born.

I laughed! Look at all the references to birth! I feel curious about this reading and I'm wondering what idea I am going to birth today. Twelve years ago I birthed one of the greatest ideas ever!

JenGie's Reading

Today on our radio show, one of our callers, Bernie, tossed us to do a joint reading for JenGie and post it to the blog. Prior to the show, we gathered in Jen's office, plugged in our new speaker phone and then stared at each other like deer in headlights. We were both tired and so worried about earthly matters like the messes our children made or money or adjusting to unemployment. Sadly, with the beautiful gift we've been given and are sharing, yes, that is where we were. We are human and right now we are faced with the day-to-day matters of what it takes to keep our lives going forward.

While we waited, we watched the seconds tick by on the clock being unable to formulate a clear sentence or carry on a decent conversation. Nearer and nearer the time came and the more dumb we became. Just before we called into the show, there seemed to be this sense of there is no way in hell that we're going to be able to pull this off!

And then...

The show started!

Wow!

We've discovered that JenGie is a divine space where all things truly ARE possible. When we play together, we flow perfectly and the messages come through clearly. We PLAY. We really play and the moment that the call connected, all the "headlight-eyes" and "dumbness" just went away and WE WERE ON!

When the show was over, we did our little victory dance, cheering ourselves on, raising the roof, giggling and shouting. The jubilation was as divine as the experience and we sat down to do our reading as per Bernie's request. This was the gorgeous - and VERY fitting - message we received...

The House of Doing

~Masquerade~

Living in a masquerade may appear beautiful. However, it can become exhausting when you get lost behind the mask.

The House of Guides

~Lion~

Watchfully protect yourself and your pride.

The House of Light

~Gold~

Examine your belief in riches. Others are holding you where you believe you belong.

The House of Order

~Nine~

Stay true to your vision and, with every step you take, your truth will be reinforced.

The House of Symbols

~Clouds~

Never give up. Keep moving forward. In the end you will discover you have what you want, even though it may look different than you imagined at the start.

Karen

The House of Light

~Gold~

Examine your belief in riches. Others are holding you where you believe you belong.

Jody

The House of Doing

~Whisper~

Some of the clearest messages will come in the softest of ways. Get still and listen,

Bernie

The House of Symbols

~Prism~

The slightest shift in your position will effect the way the information is released and revealed.

Today...

As I look into my day, I realize that I'm feeling tired and worried. The every day, mundane issues surrounding money and all that is going on in my world is starting to wear on me. I've found the way to go forward in each moment, however it hasn't been really rewarding. Of this, I am completely aware.

On the days when I'm focused solely on surviving, I end up falling into bed feeling so drained and lifeless. I judge that to be a sad state.

This morning, I woke and went walking, sauntering really, prior to the sunrise. I watched as the sky lightened and the last brave stars disappeared. I wondered about the miracle of every new day and thought about what lay before me on this day. As Jen and I step fully into JenGie and go live on Megan Sillito's blogtalk radio show today, I feel a stirring and an excitement growing inside me.

I sat down to do a simple reading, the intention for which I set as seeking clarity and support for this specific day and how it would be best for me to go forward into it....

The House of Symbols

~Waterfall~

Go through the noise to find the silence, to find the peace.

The House of Guides

~Raven~

Sometimes birds choose to walk instead of fly.

With love,

Angie

Rising Above and Appreciation

Last night I had an amazing meeting with some very interesting people and when the meeting was over I was left with a sense of awe. Still this morning I am appreciating how everything comes together and connect people and places and timing just right for things that were started long ago. With great wonder I did a JenGie reading with the intention that I would get some clarity for my day ahead, since I seem to be in a fog of unknown with swirls of fear around my current money situation. This is what come through...

The Eagle

The House of Guides

Find the freedom in rising above to view the whole picture.

Dread

The House of Doing

Focusing on the negative works like a magnet, drawing to you the very thing you are dreading.

Turquoise

The House of Light

Return to the roots of your beginning in witness of your path and to appreciate your progression.

This is what I get out of this... A message about rising above (the fog) to see a bigger picture, recommitting to focus on the positive and appreciation. As I take a deep breath in and read this I feel a sense of calm.

Thank you JenGie for another reminder of my learnings and understanding of the skills I have.

Much Love

Jen

Noise and Time

Today has been a day full of internet technology. I spent the day plopped on the couch attempting to get JenGie up and running with our sites and blogs and facebook and yada yada yada. There was lots of connecting to get us fluid. I feel happy that it's done now. Jen has been working her dogs off too. Who knew that it would take so much to get something so amazing off the ground?!

I'm getting ready to relax now and thought I'd do a quick reading, now that the day is done.



The House of Guides
~Horse~
Check your pace to absorb the joy and beauty of your surroundings.

The House of Symbols
~Prism~
The slightest shift in your position will effect the way the information is released and revealed.

I had to laugh. I didn't make any big shifts in my position today. However, I did notice that when I got frustrated, I would play with my hair and fidget in my seat. Indeed, things would shift and start flowing again.

With love,
Angie